Celebrity Death Match Round 3
"The Revenge of the Pokemon"
*Note: If you like Pokemon or Pikachu, and would be offended by someone making fun of them in any way, please do not read this match, but scroll to the bottom and read the next one. This has been an official Armadillo Public Service message. Thank you and have a cheese-ball day.
Jahar9: Hello ladies, and gents, and welcome to round three of the
Weirdo Celebrity DeathMatches. Today we have an interesting match, PokemonKiller
vs. Picachu.
Believer: It looks like this will be a quick and gorey match, but
before we begin, we have to introduce our mystery reff.
Sidney: I wonder who it could be.
*A short hooded figure walks into the ring*
Believer: Oh my! That's.......YODA!!!
Sidney: My hero. *sighs*
Jahar9: Who pulled that one off?
Believer: I think our janitor, Obee Wan Kanobee, got him to come.
Obee Wan's a nice guy, y'know that?
Sidney: *sighs again*
Jahar9: Oh, would you quit sighing? He's a muppet, for goodness sake!
Believer: Well, anyhoo and however, it's time for Round 3 to begin.
Yoda will now announce the rules for this round.
Yoda: Rules four there are. Listen to them you must.
Sidney: Doesn't he have the cutest little way of talking?
Believer: If you say so. Personally, the age difference would bother
me. He must be, like, 315 years old? That would make him 300 years older
than you.
Yoda: Even older than that I am.
Jahar9: Well, anyway, here we go with Round 3. Pokemon Killer looks
ready for action. And there's the bell! Believer: Pigeon's head must really hurt by now, being the bell and
all.
Sidney: Why can't I be like Yoda, whyy!!??
Yoda: Give you Yoda lessons I may.
Sidney: Yippee!
Jahar9: It looks like this match will be a slaughter.
Believer: PK is going right for the kill, oh, look at her munching
on Picachu!
*Picachu calls all 150 of it's friends*
Jahar9: I hope PK has done her research....at least she'll have a
big lunch now.
Beleiver: *sings* "Like Skywalker, gotta big hunch
Sidney: OOOOK, and....whoa! Picachu just smashed PK with that stupid
tail it's got!
Picachu: Pika, pika!
PK: I'll get you for that one!
Believer: Bwaaaak!
Jahar9: Was that the bell??
Sidney: The bell that was not, Believer that was.
Jahar9: Alrighty, I suppose Mr. Gobbler has gotten to her, and Yoda
has gotten to you.
Believer: Bwaaaaaak!
Sidney: Just you and me it is.
Jahar9: *moves chair over to edge* It's really scary when I seem
like the sane one.
Sidney: Agree I do.
Believer: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!
Jahar9: It's getting longer and louder. Maybe he wants a chair. *reaches
into head and grabs the chair she had for Gertrude* It's only collencting
dust up there.
Believer: Thanks
Jahar9: Take the drums TTV had too. *tosses Believer the drums*
Sidney: Grateful Believer is, but the match we must watch.
Believer: Well, it looks like we're down to only about 50 Pokemon
now. Wait....1...2...3...4........
Jahar9: There's 51! Please stop counting, you'll put me to sleep.
Wait, 50 now.
Sidney: Keep counting we must.
Believer: PK is really having a feast down there!
Jahar9: *falls off platform* AHHHH! *Smashes a half-dozen pokemon*
Sidney: Gone they are now. No more shall they be.
Believer: I don't think she needs those Yoda lessons.
Jahar9: *climbs back up to platform* That was refreshing.
Yoda: Down to 3 Pokemon we are.
Believer: Uh, no, just one, Picachu is putting up a fight though..... Jahar9: Pikachu is... what? Okay, I never watch Pokemon, but I think
this kid throws, uh, lightening bolts!
Sidney: True that is. Watched that absurd show I have once. Throw
lightning bolts from his butt Pikachu does. Watch out PK should.
Yoda: Use the Force of the Mighty Dangling Participle, Sidney. Say
you must also, "yes" repeatedly and also, "mmmmm?"
Sidney: Thank you I do, Great and Noble Yoda, yes, mmmm?
Yoda: *sighs in frustration* Better that is, supposing I am. Sidney,
said have I many times to young Luke, "Unlearn what you have learned."
Sidney: Understand I do. Try I will.
Yoda: "Try not, do!"
Jahar9: Oh, would you people pay attention to the match!!! Looks
like I'm the only announcer working, folks, sorry. Pikachu has thrown 5
lightening bolts from his butt so far and missed! Uh-oh. Looks like PK
is scared of eating Pikchu on fear of getting electrocuted!
PK: No WAY is some little cartoon twit going to beat me! *pulls out
a machine gun*
Pikachu:Pika Pika...a....achu! *Pikachu sneezes the machine gun out
of PK's hands*
PK: Oh, drat! You'll pay for that, that was my birthday present from
Believer!
Pikachu: Pika? *Pikachu tries to throw another lightening bolt, but...*
Jahar9: Aww, man, who cut the cheese? PigeonMorph: Better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it.
Believer: Thank for that commentary.
Jahar9: I think PK is even less likely to try and eat that little
Picachu now. I know I wouldn't.
PK: There's got to be a way to get rid of that smelly cartoon.
Sidney: A hint shall I give, bright flashing lights it's weakness
is.
Jahar9: Get that smelly thing PK!
*PK grabs strobe light and disco ball from her blue and red Addidas
bag.*
Sidney: Work that will, mmmmm.
Believer: Whoa, look at that, go PK, go PK, GO!!!
*Picachu blows up*
*everyone cheers!*
All: *sings* We are the champions....weeeee are the champions!
Pk: I am the champion! I have killed all the Pokemon!
Jahar9: Yippeee!
Sidney: Congratulations you have.
Yoda: Nay, irony we have. At the rafters you may look.
PK: Oh no! It, it, it's....it's still alive!
Picachu: *evil laugh*
Jahar9: I thought all it said was Pika, pika!
Picachu: Ha ha ha ha ha! No, the lights have increased my intellect.
*PK kicks Picachu in its enlarged cranium*
Picachu: I'm melting....melting......
*Sidney rings the bell...er..Pigeon's head*
Believer: And that's the match. PokemonKiller has won!
*croud cheers*
Yoda: You have used the dangling participle well, Sidney. Come with
me you must.
Sidney: Come gladly I will.
Jahar9: All's well that ends well. Catch ya later for the next match:
Leonardo DiCaprio and the Cigarette Smoking Man vs. Christopher Ralph and
the real Tobias in a tag-team match.
All: See Ya!
Rule 1 this is: Speak normal English you must not. Make me feel
like a very weird little man that would.
Rule 2 this is: Trying to fly you must not, mmmm?
Rule 3 this is: Bash your opponent on the head with old birdcages
you cannot.
Rule 4 this is: Fwapping your opponent with the newspaper you used
to line the birdcages you must not.
May the Force of the Mighty Dangling Participle be with you! Let's
get it on!
Hey, that's my lunch
Yoda's a really, really old guy"
Onward and psycho ward: CDM 4