Once upon a time....There lived a bunch of weirdoes who were commonly associated with the World Federation of Racing Little Green Snails, but really they worked for the top secret.....Kill all Pokemon side of Animorphs! They were the Animorphs contacts, the ones who told them what was going on with the yeerks. But they didn't spend all their time fighting the yeerks; they also kill Pokemon, eat computer chips, sing jet plane songs, pick their noses, eat their boogers, and play with their multiple personalities/fingers. On this particular day, they were all picking their noses when......All of a sudden Believer sneezed and Mulder was swallowed up in the vast abyss of Believer's left nostril......Scully screamed in a high pitched "Mulder! NNOoooooooo!" Suddenly, Ghost came to the rescue! She magically appeared and said, "...Never here, I mean fear, fate? Whatever, I'll save you Mulder. Mulder, doesn't that sound like a type of fish? Hmmm, yea, I'd like some Mulder and some coleslaw on the side." Ghost jumped up to Believerís nostril when suddenly she....inhaled (everyone needs air, donít' they?). With a giant gust of air Ghost was also stuck fast in Believer's nostril with the slightly fishy Mulder. "I think I'll just keep the door for now," Tiger brilliantly commented. ....Suddenly Pokemon Killer burst into the room where all this was happening and yelled. "THEY ARE COMING TO TOWN!!" They as in Hanson, but what Pokemon Killer didnít know was.....That Ghost, Mulder and Scully were jammed up Believers huge nose holes. Pokemon Killer ran over to Believer and pulled on both of Believers hands and out popped, Scully, Mulder and Ghost....Landing in a tangle of fingers, fish,
and slime. EEWWWW! Everyone was cleaning off, when suddenly into the room burst...No one, no one of course but my grandpa. He waltzed in with a grace that only someone so old could have. I yelled "I don't know what would give anyone the idea I was cool!" then promptly tore my jeans and fell into a trash can. Believer began to shout....."MR. GOBBELS SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" All of a sudden J9's grandpa turned into a GIANT TURKEY!! Believer (who seems to be our pawn in this story) Ran over to Mr. Gobbels and hugged him, she said: "We're getting married, tomorrow!!" Pokemon Killer raised an eyebrow, J9 looked up and said "........That's not fair!" JM, slightly annoyed at the piece of Mulder between her teeth that had appeared there after the aliens teleported her back to earth, yelled back "Life's not fair! Believer can turn your grandpa into a giant gobbler if she wants!" "I refuse to add on," exclaimed Tiger, "this is a free country." Ghost promptly replied, "...THEREíS SOMETHING HARD IN THE HAMBURGER MEAT!"...Suddenly Tiger choked and yelled "Argh, there is!" She fell over, and fell over again while still on the floor. Believer was still swooning over grandpa/chicken when........Scully started to scream "It's not an alien, I tell you! It's....AHHHHHHH!" Pokemon Killer stuffed Scully into the hard hamburger meat. To get her mind off that old geezer that everyone seemed to
think she liked, Believer plunged in after Scully. Mulder and Ghost jumped in after Believer. Then The Cigarette Smoking Man showed up and said......
(ending 1)Hey, where'd my hamburger go?" Seeing it and not knowing that Scully and Believer were inside, he raised it to his mouth and...Uh oh!
"Stop!" the narrator cried. But nobody heard the narrator, because he/she was outside the story! So Sidney raised the hamburger to his mouth, and ate it whole! Scully, Mulder, Ghost, and Believer tumbled down Sidney's throat, when all of a sudden...Sidney coughed up the chewed cow meat laughing. "I'm a girl! Not a he!" she exclaimed. Mulder climbed out of the mess of hard hamburger, but to his disdain, was scooped up by a Mc.Donald's employee and added as a $0.50 extra on the great tastes menu. "Yahoo," yelled the smoking man as he flew like a whirlwind into the blustery windpipe of none other than Mr.Gobbler, "Down the hatch!".... (ending 2)in a stuffy professor-like voice, "Have you had an unneeded stress lately? Maybe this will help. SPENDER! Get me a Cuban!" "Hey, aren't Cuban imports outlawed?!?" Gertrude, who had obviously escaped from the Smithsonian to bother this story exclaimed. "Oh no!" Jahar9 screamed just as........to complicate things further, the TTV showed up! "Haha ha ha ha tee hee!" TTV jumped into Jahar's head, trying to rule again! "I'm ba-ack!" TTV cried. Then...Jahar, who commonly misspells her name as Jahar8, and will soon be Jahar10 with Gertrude and TTV around, screamed "NOOO! I'll save myself this time!" Jahar puts her tail blade to her throat. "I'd rather die than be controlled!" "NO!" screamed the narrator, but to no avail because, as previously stated, he was out of the story. Yet, he managed to come up with a plan. His plan was to use Believer the pawn to save all the doomed characters by
sneezing again, but with such force to....blow all the characters down the boulevard into the local china store, where they broke all the breakables like weirdos in a china shop. And also to the dislike of the manager, he found that the Mulder on the Mc.Donald's menu was not the fish he thought it was, and promptly egged MORPHz for personal damages....Suddenly Believer sneezed, so hard it blew, Mulder, Scully, The smoking man, Ghost, Tiger Morph, Pokemon
Killer, Jahar9, Gertrude, Mr.Gobbels/grandpa, JM, and even the narrator into outer space. "run run as fast as you can. You cant catch me. I'm the stinky cheese man!" yelled Ghost as she......"Oooof!" Jahar and Tiger cried as they landed on the moon along with the other characters. "Hey!" exclaimed JM, "I can't find my sunglasses!" A splat and then a crunch was heard as suddenly...Janeen popped out of Pokemon Killers mouth, Janeen exclaimed "I LIKE
PINK!!" and started singing "wannabe" by the spice girls. Mulder screamed "THE HORROR!" and fainted..., but alas, Mulder didn't know the worst of it. The worst was yet to come, now. Suddenly Believer, Jahar9, Gertrude, TTV, and Mr.Gobbler burst in with a happy air about them. They began to recite the lyrics to every Barenaked Ladies song ever recorded. Tiger promptly fell
off the face of the earth, to which event Jahar9 commented, "Eat your name," interrupting the flow of "chickity china the Chinese chicken." Believer sadly admitted, "Alas, she will not be missed, for she never wanted to have a part in this anyway." The narrator uselessly spoke up, "She can't die, if she wants to!" which made no sense to the characters, but they couldn't hear it anyway, because the narrator is....in a little shack outside of Portland Oregon, where he eats cheesy poofs all day and trys to disrupt our wonderful story. All of a sudden Tigermorph changed into a pigeon, Janeen cryed, "LOOK ITS PIGEONMORPH!" After she exclaimed that PigeonMorph flew over Janeens head and pooped on her. What Janeen didnít know was that PigeonMorphís poop was radio active!! So Janeen began to melt. Everyone else stooped singing BareNaked Ladies and went their separate ways, Pokemon Killer walked off to explore the mountains on the moon (cause thatís where they are). While she was exploring she found........A
personally handwritten testimony of the President of the United States saying that the bearer could do whatever he/she wanted to. She immediately tore it up, thinking that no one would ever speak to her if she had something of the President's. On second thought, doing whatever you want could be a pretty nice power, so she took out a tape recorder, reversed time, and started to...create a king-sized slurpy the size of Mars to take over the earth.....and to drink when she is done taking over earth...The giant slurpy was also radioactive! It stormed up to the group and shouted: "Cheese is like butter only different!"
Then PigeonMorph shouted back: "Yeah, well cheese gives me gas!" Promptly, the slurpy grabbed PigeonMorph and...hit her over the head with a goat. "HOW DARE
YOU SAY THAT ABOUT CHEESE?" The Radio Active slurpy yelled and picked up Believer, there was a noise coming from behind one of the dusty hills. "WHAT IS THAT I HEAR?" The Slurpy dropped Believer, she landed on the ground next to JM with a thud. "WE'RE HEEEREEE" Zac exclaimed and stepped out from behind the hill, his brothers at his side. The Slurpy groaned, "Oh not them.." Jahar mumbled and rolled her eyes. "I WILL DESTROY THEM!!" The Radio active Slurpy yelled, the narrator interrupted. "Whatís the Radio active slurpys name?" He asked and ate a cheesy poof, The slurpy looked up and said: "MY NAME IS NORMAN, NORMAN BATES!" With that JM screamed "THE HORROR" and crumpled to the ground. "Hey What about us?" Taylor demanded and poked Norman, Norman glared at him. "WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Mulder's eyes bulged out and he said "Hanson??? How dare you come here and interrupt our peaceful gathering? You scum! Scully!!! Come here, and bring your gun!" Scully came running up, her gun in both hands so she wouldn't drop it. "Yes, Mulder dear?" she asked. "Shoot those girls!" Mulder shouted. "Okay," agreed Scully. She carefully aimed at Taylor, the dropped her gun and ran over to them. "I can't!" she cried. "They are like sisters to me!"
Then the Cigarette-Smoking-Man (CSM) walked over. "I've seen presidents die," he said dully. With that, he took out a gun and quickly shot Zac. Then, Norman the Radioactive Slurpy said, "........I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL THEM YOU FOOLS!" Zac got up and smiled evilly, he took the bag of Bullet Proof marshmallows out of her shirt. "I knew these would come in handy one day!" Pokemon Killer interrupted and said "HANSON ARE NOT GIRLS" Norman shushed her, dropped PigeonMorph and then grabbed Isaac and Taylor. PigeonMorph said in a dark tone of voice "you flying turkey." Mr.Gobbels looked up, "is that supposed to be an insult?" and at that PigeonMorph and Mr.Gobbels started fighting. Norman ignored them and started squishing Taylor and Isaac, Taylor, Isaac and Zac started singing MMMBop. Norman started melting, "NO STOP! STOP THE MADNESS! SOMEONE! SAAAVEEE MEE!!" Too late, Norman melted into a puddle of pink slush to be no more...but every story has to have irony, so along came the yeerks, who happened to be family friends of the Hanson family, and they infused Hanson DNA into the giant slurpy, and re-froze it. NorZacIsTay ate the real Hanson, and accidentally squished Mr.Gobbles and PiegeonMorph in the process. "Achoo" it sneezed, blowing all the important characters back to earth, landing on Cassie's barn.
The END!!! Ha ha ha! Finally!
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