Celebrity Death Match Round 2
"Mr. Gobbler Strikes Again"

Believer: We're just about to start the action....

::PK bangs Pigeon's head with a rubber mallet:: and there's the bell, well, not quite a bell. Oh, well.

*Mattie takes out a volleyball*

Sidney: Who knows what she'll do with that.

Jahar9: Especially with the no rules rule.

*Mattie dribbles the volleyball twice and... throws it high into the air. Suddenly, it's no longer a volleyball! It's a sword, or is it a batleth, or something? Oh, well, it's something you can kill someone with. Then, Stress Fairy takes out her secret weapon - a magic wand!!!*

Jahar9: Now this is what I call a DeathMatch! Nothing like a weapon with a blade to spice things up!

Believer: Yeah, here comes some real fighting, or my name ain't "Warm Fuzzy" Believer!

Sidney: Ummm... I didn't know it was. But wait, what's Ghost doing? Why, she seems to be... clipping her toenails... what on earth?!? She'd better be watching that match!

Believer: Well, I don't think it'll make a difference, there's no rules for her to enforce. She's just a very close bystander.

*Mattie swings sword*

Jahar9: ACK!!! Ghost! Look out!

*Ghost ducks, but... When she ducks, she accidentally falls through the floor!*

Jahar: Oh well, she wasn't in the fight anyway. What happened to Stress Fairy?

Believer: She... is... stressed! It all just fell apart for her. She realized that without her job and life and potatoes, life just wasn't worth living. And, as I said, my name is not Warm-Fuzzy Believer.

Jahar: Yes, it is.

Believer: No, it's not.

Jahar: Yes, it is.

Believer: No, it's not.

Jahar: Listen, I think I would know what your name is. I'm telling you, it's Warm-Fuzzy Believer!

Believer: Yeah, then you are the Cheesy-Buttery Jahar! I only I would know what my name is.

Jahar: Yeah, your name is Warm-Fuzzy Believer!

Sidney: Okay, that's enough. Back to the fight... Well, anyway, Stress Fairy, who is NOT stressed, but causes other people to be stressed, is lifting her magic wand. She is saying...

Stress Fairy: Veni Viddie Vicchie, three words I cannot spell, but anyway I cast a spell on you! And now you're mine! Bua-haa-haa-haa-haaaaaaaa! You, Mattie, are burnt toast!

*Stress Fairy waves her magic wand three times around her head, and ~poof~ goes Mattie!*

Jahar9: Why, that's amazing! Mattie has completely disappeared! Well, that's a fine howdy-doody to you!

Believer: I wouldn't be so sure. Mattie did disappear for a second, but I wouldn't count her out yet.

Sidney: OhmyBob! There she is! Why, she's... Got Mulder and Scully stuck up her nose. Hmm, where have we seen that before? *looks at Believer*

Believer: And back to the match...

*Mattie sneezes*

Jahar9: Oohhh, now there's a new one... *laughs*

*Mulder and Scully hit Stress Fairy in the forehead*

Sidney: It looks like this match is not going to be quick...

Jahar9: No, indeedie. When are we going to see some real fighting? In the words of the referee we have when we DON'T have a guest, "Let's get it on!"

Sidney: I'm tellin ya. Anyhoo, Mattie is getting pretty upset now. She is swinging her sword around madly! Now she's charging Stress Fairy, whose magic wand seems to be out of order! I can't look!

Jahar9: Well, I can. And here's what's happening: Mattie is running straight at her with her sword... ack! That might be just a tad bit more dangerous than running with scissors.

*Mattie Stumbles*

Jahar9: ACK! I can't look!

Believer: Hmm, déja vu. Well, I can look, and here's what's happening: Mattie has fallen to the mat, but the sword is stuck into the mat, and she can't seem to get it out. Stress Fairy has gotten her magic wand working again, and she's coming in for the kill. I don't think Mattie will turn around in time...

Sidney: Oh, would you look at that!

Believer: What? I don't see anything.

Jahar: Look!

Believer: There's NOTHING to see, don't you see?

Sidney: You nitwit! Look, over there!

Believer: Oh, well why didn't you say over there last time? Are you people dim or what?

Jahar: I am not dim!

*Meanwhile...
Stress Fairy is making her move! With a wave of her wand, the sword pops out of the mat with an odd SHLLOOOOOP! It heads straight for Mattie! Mattie grabs the handle, but the sword keeps turning itself around! It wants to kill her! What is she going to do???*

Sidney: Oh, just kick them both out, aren't they breaking the rules?

Beleiver: There are no rules!

Sidney: Oh yeah...

*Mattie's sword keeps swinging at her, while Stress Fairy aims her wand*

Mattie: AHHHH! *dodges both blows*

Jahar9: Whewww, that was a close one, but Mattie can't dodge this much longer.

Believer: Agreed. Hey! Look over there!

Jahar9: Why, it's a giant chicken in a tuxedo! Funny, he bears a strong resemblance to my grandfather.

Sidney: Chicken Boo, where are you? You got some splainin to do!

Believer: Ummm... yeah, OK. ANYWAY, back to the ring. It looks like this is all over, folks. Mattie has the energy and the stamina, but Stress Fairy has the magic wand.

Jahar9: Yeah, but remember, this is Celebrity DeathMatch. Anything can happen.

Believer: Anything? You sure?

Sidney: Well, we just saw a giant chicken in a tuxedo doing a turkey dance, didn't we?

Jahar9: Turkey dance? It IS Grandpa!

Believer: This chicken/turkey thing is getting kind of old, don't you think? I mean, c'mon, can't the person typing this think of something more original?

Sidney: *grumbles* I get writer's block one time! I suppose YOU could do better? Let's get back to the fight, shall we?

Jahar9: Oh, whatever. OK, before we run out of space on this message board, let's end this off.

Sidney: Come on, Mattie! You can do it! Kick that stupid fairy out of my head and I'll let you sit on panurple again!

Jahar9: Did that rhyme? I think it rhymed. LeAnn Rhimes! La la lade da.

Believer: Am I the only one slightly sane here?

Sidney: I don't think I need to answer that question.

Jahar9: WHOA!! Look at that! Stress Fairy just whacked Mattie in the head with the wand!

Believer: She might be down for awhile on that one.

Sidney: NOO! Mattie! Get her!

Jahar9: Looks like this may be the end.

Ghost: One... two... three *Mattie pops back up*

Believer: Ref, was she down long enough?

Ghost: Uhhh, umm...

*Mattie gets up and gives a high kick to Stress Fairy, sending her flying across the room*

Sidney: Wowweee! Look at her fly! GOOOOO MATTIE!!!

Jahar9: OOOK, whatever you say Sidney, it still does not look good for either of them.

Sidney: Why?

Jahar9: Look over there at the chicken/turkey!

Believer: ACK!! Yea, look at that, he's got both of them stuck in a feather hold.

Sidney: I've never heard of that one before.

Jahar9: He's eating them!! AHHH!! Oh, I can't look anymore!

*Mr. Gobbler eat the rest of Stress Fairy and Mattie*

Sidney: Umm, who's going to sit on panurple now?

*Mr. Gobbler jumps into Sidney's head and sits on panurple...*

Jahar9: Well, that was interesting. Say, Sidney, would you mind asking Mr. Gobbler to come out here for a moment? I think our audience wants an interview!

Sidney*who is still upset that Mattie died but happy that Stress Fairy died*: Ummm... sure. Hold on.

*Sidney reaches into her head and pulls out Mr. Gobbler, who then changes back to normal size*

Believer: *holding a microphone* Mr. Gobbler, how do you feel about defeating both Mattie and Stress Fairy in the same night, especially since they are both accomplished fighters and you're an ameteur?

Mr. Gobbler: Buckawwk! *eats microphone and jumps back into Sidney's head*

Jahar9: Well, that was... ummm... weird. He must be hungry, huh?

Believer: Yeah, better watch that he doesn't chew on the furniture in there!

Sidney: Oh, whatever. Buckawwk! Darn it, I think we have another candidate for the Smithsonian. That is, unless either of you want him?

Believer: Oh, sure, why not? Throw him over, I can always send him to the Smithsonian if I want.

*Sidney reaches into her head, grabs Mr. Gobbler, and shoves into Believer's head, who promptly starts clucking*

Jahar9: Ummm... yeah. Anyway, this round's over. Next up: Pokemon Killer vs. Pikachu. Stay tuned!!!

All 3: Bye!

To go to round 3 of this insanity: CLICK HERE!